This I Believe

I believe in love.

This week, we heard about Hosea and his wife, a prime example of God's love. God told Hosea to marry and to love this woman, a prostitute. Yes, a prostitute. And while the world would look down on such a women, he did love her. He pursued her with the same love with which God pursues us. The same love with which we should pursue God and each other. You see, this love that I believe in is not spelled "Love"; it is spelled "God." The Bible says that God is love, and if I'm pursuing God, if I'm trying to become more like Him, then my love should be Godly. But what does that mean? What is Godly love? Well, in my limited human understanding, I'd say that means it's unconditional. Endless. Selfless. Gracious. Passionate. Sacrificial. This love that I believe in has no boundaries or requirements. When I show you my love, I want to show you my God.

Yet, I fail so many times at this. My love is conditional. My love changes and wavers as if blown by the wind. With each change of mood, with each new interaction, and with each new person I see, my love is altered. You treat me poorly? I love you less. You don't meet my standards? I love you less. You don't love me? I love you less. That isn't love. God's answers are so very different. I treat God poorly? He loves me the same. I don't meet God's standards? He loves me the same. I don't love God? He loves me the same. How can I receive such grace so freely, yet refuse to offer the same grace to others just as freely? I don't deserve to be loved. I am wretched. I am nothing. I am sin itself. Yet, God loves me.

So, this is an apology to God, to the world, to everyone that I claim to love. I am not loving. I pretend that I am, but in reality, I don't even understand the word. So, I am sorry. The good news? God still loves me despite me, and He gives me His grace through which I can be made new. His mercies are new every morning, so today and everyday, I can try again to show love. I will fail, but I promise to try.